My Girl is texting another girl too much!
|
Dear Hersband and Wife;
my girlfriend has recently started texting and communicating with her sisters ex girlfriend...while i trust her i know this gal has a crush on her and i have witnessed her making crude gestures my girlfriends way. am i wrong for wanting this frienship to cease?when i mention it my gal says im being controlling and jealous
Thanks,
Worried
|
Dear Worried,
This is a question that gets raised all the time. And usually by your wife. OK, it is not a surprise here that I am a butch. Especially for all of you who follow H&W. But for those who are reading for the first time I am here to tell you I am butch. Why does this have relevance? Well, wife will tell you all about it later. For myself it seems that I have some sort of sense that women just want to be my friend and I am not doing anything except talking and being friendly. I am not interested in anyone else other than my wife,Wife. So, why do I feel like some women get me in trouble. This is what I have come to learn. When a woman is attracted to you she is going to be disrespectful to your girlfriend,wife or anyone around you. Why? Because she is about to get in between you and your life as you know it. So, you apparently know this rule and your girlfriend does not. If you knew how many times I have told Wife that I did not see "it" that another woman was flaunting the fact they got time with Hersband any time they wanted. I had no idea and never heard any of this so you can now understand Wife's frustration. So what you have to do is get your girl to listen and get her to understand that this woman is being disrespectful to you. She is taking up your girlfriends time. Also you know she is attracted to your partner. Now your partner has to understand that her new' buddy" is rubbing it all in your face. Your girlfriend may be completely innocent just having conversation with a "new"friend. Ask your partner if some sexual talk enters into the conversation. Just as a joke but some type of sexual innuendo enters into their conversation. Even if it is something like"If you were not involved right now I would love to be all over you." Most times it does not even need to be that conversation. And your girl may think she can just ignore it and handle it,all the while you are getting furious because she can not see that she needs to put an end to all the phone conversations and just stand up for you. She needs to draw a line on what can be discussed and what can not. She also needs to not spend more time on the phone or do stuff with this one person all the time. (I had a boss who wanted me to do stuff with her all the time/ and an ex who spent all the time day or night on the phone) She is just seeing that she is not doing anything wrong and you are the one all bitchy and controlling. She just is not able to see this from the other side. You are the most important. And you know that another woman is trying to move in on what you two have. If your girl would rather be with this woman than you than maybe you need to talk about what is going on and that you are not jealous. You just want to know because you have to protect yourself and feelings need to be on the table. More relationships split up this way and the one that leaves is usually the innocent one and nothing was going to happen. The girl who steals your girl knows exactly what she is doing.
This is just good butch perspectives.
Hersband
Dear Worried,
OH GIRL... Do I ever understand your predicament. It is sad that women don't see a problem with getting in between other womens' relationships but if it happened to them they would be ready to rip another woman's hair out. The sisters ex girlfriend knows exactly what she is up to, she is staying ready to jump if something ever happens with you and your girl, and if she can make it happen she will find a way to do that.
The fact that she is making gestures toward your girl in your view, is not only wrong it is disrespectful of your relationship. I have a rule in my relationship, if there is a friend no matter what sex, that is disrespectful to the confines of my relationship and what is appropriate they have to be dumped as a friend. Sounds to me like you need to have a chat with your girl, if she is only paying attention to her text messages lately because of her new buddy, then I would send her a text that says; bb, we nd 2 tlk bout seting edges n r R/Ship 4 othas 2 rSpect. f othas cnot rSpect r agreed upon edges thN they've 2B dumpD frm r lyfs. w'r most impt B4 NE1 Ls (translation= Baby, we need to talk about setting boundaries in our relationship for others to respect. If others cannot respect our agreed upon boundaries then they have to be dumped from our lives. We are most important before anyone else. )
Just my humble opinion,
Wife
|
|
